Moods

I got this gray sorry ass mood from Monday on ... maybe just my sleeping cycle was disturbed, I had one night off. I really miss those five hours. I am just wandering around like a zombie in and out the office, on the Tube, ... home. I am not depressed, it feels distant ... I see things happening around me, people care for things, they do things, they make jokes, they laugh ... all is lame, meaningless, no reason for joy but no reason to complain either ... others are much more fucked than I am. There is no justice; like there is an Universal Random Number Generator (URNG) somewhere in the middle of the universe, and everyone has a number, if it hits yours... you are fucked ... with all your good or bad karma or whatever you call all that you have done before .... it still didn't hit mine, I'm safe, at least for now...
Strange that after what happened to my close friends I don't feel a fuckin thing anymore, maybe I saw it coming, thousands of tiny particles of omen all swarming in a common direction, it happened, it's over. All those feelings of sorry were consumed before ... in the last two years as I watched their downward spiral from a VIP first row seat. Crap movie ... mad director, little or no special effects, sad story. As for who did what with who ? I don't care ... they were in it together ... I'm out of pop-corns... bye